Could you drive any better if I shoved that mobile phone up your a***?

 

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

 

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an a***hole.

 

You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.

 

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

 

Save your breath - you’ll need it to blow your date.

 

All men are animals, some just make better pets.

 

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

 

I need someone really bad - are you really bad?

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

 

All men are idiots - I married their king.

 

ATO: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

 

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

 

Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.

 

Hang up and drive.

 

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

 

Where there’s a will - I want to be in it.

 

Don’t drink and drive - you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

 

Ever stop to think, then forget to start again?

 

Always remember you’re unique - just like everyone else.

 

Honk if you want to see my finger.

 

If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the footpath.

 

Honk if you’re rich, cute and love horses.

 

Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on.

 

Get in, sit down, shut up amd start pushing.

 

People who think they know everything are an annoyance to those of us who do.