Not Another Teen Movie
A take-off of all the other teens movies.
Malik: Sure why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile
and stay out of the conversation and say things like 'Damn', 'Shit', and 'That is whack'.
Catherine: I want you.
Jake: But you're my sister.
Catherine: Only by blood.
Coach: Can he still play?
Trainer: He's in a coma.
Coach: Answer the question!
Priscilla: I need t to the fourth power y.
Priscilla: Time to talk to you.
Priscilla: You put the 'suck' in 'liposuction'. You put the 'ju' in 'jujitsu'.
You put the 'ism' in 'this is all just a defense mechanism'.
Remake of the old Ocean's 11 movie, about a bunch of guys who rob a
casino (or three).
Danny: They say I paid my debt to society.
Tess: Funny, I never got a check.
Ruben: You guys are pros, the best. I'm sure you can make it out of the
casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the f**king desert!
Rusty: You look down and they know you're lying, up and they know you don't
know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, always look at your mark but don't stare.,
be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left
his side. And for god's sake, whatever you do, don't under any circumstances -
Livingston: Come look at this?
Turk Malloy: I'm gonna get of the car and drop you like third period French.
Danny: Ten ought to do it, don't you think? Do you think we need one more?
You think we need one more. Alright we'll get one more.
Rusty: The Bellagio and the Mirage. Those are Tony Benedict's places.
Danny: Yes they are. Think he'll mind?
Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: I only have one?
Rusty: Been practising that speech haven't you?
Danny: Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt like I rushed it.
Rusty: No it was good. I liked it.
Topher Grace: Hey guys! Check this: All reds!
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
One of the best movies recently released. Based on the Disney ride Pirates of the Caribbean.
Excellent cast including Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightley.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, we sack
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We're devils, we're black sheep, we're really bad eggs
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
Norrington: I intend to see to it that any man who sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate
brand gets what he deserves: A short drop and a sudden stop.
Elizabeth: I can't breathe!
Norrington: Yes I'm feeling a bit nervous myself.
Norrington: You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.
Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Will: I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.
Will: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate.
Jack Sparrow: No survivors? Then where do the stories come from I wonder?
Elizabeth: I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilites against Port Royal.
Barbossa: There were a lot o' long words there, miss. We're naught but humble pirates. What is
it that you want?
Elizabeth: I want you to leave and never come back.
Barbossa: I am disinclined to acquiece to your request. Means no.
Will: We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
Jack Sparrow: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.
Jack Sparrow: I'm not sure I deserved that.
Jack Sparrow: I may have deserved that.
Will: I suppose you didn't deserve that one either.
Jack Sparrow: No, that I deserved.
Jack Sparrow: Do us a favour. I know it's difficult for you, but please, stay here and try not
to do anything stupid.
Pirate: You're supposed to be dead.
Jack Sparrow: Am I not?
Jack Sparrow: Of the two of us, I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, therefore, my
word is the one we'll be trusting.
Elizabeth: Mr Sparrow. I'm not entirely sure I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk.
Jack Sparrow: You burned all the food, the shade, the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete
scoundrels! Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. Do you really think
that there s even the slighest chance that they won't see it?!
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Jack Sparrow: A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all round!
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington just like she
promised, and you get to die for her like she promised.
Jack Sparrow: Well. I'm actually feeling rather good about this. I think we've all arrived at
a very special place ay? Spiritually. Ecumenically. Gramatically. I want you to know that I was rooting for you mate. Know
that. Elizabeth, it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry. Will. Nice hat. Friends. This is the day that you
will always remember as the day that you - .
Gillete: Commodore, what about Sparrow?
Norrington: Oh I think we can afford to give him one day's head start.
The Pirate's Code:
"Parley. I invoke the right of parley. According to the Code of the Brethren set down by the
pirates Morgan and Bartholemew, you have to take me to your Captain. If an adversary demands parley, you can do them no harm
until the parley is complete."
"You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair
fight I'd kill you." "That's not much incentive for me to fight fair then, is it?"
"Take what you can." "Give nothing back!"
"People are easier to search when they're dead."
"The man that falls behind gets left behind."
"But what a ship really is, is freedom."
But above all, "The code is more actual guidelines really."
Rugrats in Paris
Movie based on the TV show Rugrats. I haven't actually seen it, I only
know this line from the preview.
Tommy: Wee, wee.
Angelica: He's speaking French already!
I don't remember much about this movie, it can't have been that good.
Ike Graham: Don't knock drunks in bars. It means they're not out driving.
Comedy starring Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.
Carter: Oh hell no! You didn't just touch my god damn radio!
Lee: The Beach Boys is great American music.
Carter: Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!
Save the Last Dance
Julia Stiles in a ballet movie with a twist of hip-hop.
Derek: Steps ain't no square dance.
Sara: That's ok, I dance in circles, probably around you.
Chenille: Who? Because in this crowd, you're going to have to be a
bit more specific.
A real live version of the old cartoon about Mystery Inc and of course,
Velma: Oh please! You get kidnapped so much you should come with your
own ransom note!
Boy meets girl, boy and girl leave it up to fate, boy loses girl, fate
brings them together again.
Dean: I'm telling you right now, British women do not age well. Eight
years ago she was a luscious treat, you know, she probably looked like, you know, Baby Spice, now she could look like ...
Jonathon: Old Spice.
One of the best 'kids' movies' of all time.
Shrek: 'Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had
an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in castle,
guarded by a terrible, fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but
none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love's
first kiss.' Yeah. Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of *flush*.
Person: It'll grind your bones for its bread.
Shrek: Well actually, that would a giant. Ogres, now they're much
worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. Shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually it's
quite good on toast.
Shrek: This is the part where you run away. And stay out!
Donkey: You definitely need some tictacs or something, cos your breath
Donkey: Wow. Only a true friend would be that truely honest.
Donkey: Whoo. Look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That would be my home.
Donkey: Oh and it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know, you are quite
a decorator. It's amazing what you've managed to do on such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I
hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give them a hint but they won't leave, and then there's that big
awkward silence, you know...
*Big awkward silence.*
Donkey: Can I stay with you?
Donkey: Can I stay with you, please?
Shrek: Of course.
Donkey: We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning:
I'm making waffles!
Donkey: Oh that's what I like to hear. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart
friends off on another whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! 'On the road again.' Sing it with me Shrek. 'I can't wait
to get on the road again.'
Shrek: What did I say about singing?
Donkey: Well can I whistle?
Donkey: Well can I hum it?
Mirror: So . . . sit back and relax my Lord, because its time for you to
meet todays eligible bachelorettes. And heeeeeere they are: Bachelorette Number One is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom
far, far away. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing, anytime! Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters.
Please welcome . . . Cinderella!
Bachelorette Number Two is a cape-wearin' girl from the land of Fancy. Although
she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find a what a live-wire she is! C'mon.
Give it up for . . . Snow White!
And last, but certainly not least, Bachelorette Number Three is a fiery
red-head from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But dont let that cool ya off. She a loaded pistol who
likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess . . . Fiona.
So. Will it be Bachelorette Number One, Bachelorette Number Two, or Bachelorette
Thelonius: Pick Number Three my Lord!
Shrek: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?
Shrek: It's quiet. Too quiet.
Donkey: Hey, look at this!
Choir: Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town.
Can we have some rules, let us lay them down.
Don't make waves, stay in line
And well get along fine
Duloc is a perfect place.
Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your - face
Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect place!
Donkey: Wooooow. Lets do that again!
Shrek: No! No! No no no. No.
Shrek: Alright, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
Farquad: And so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it is a
sacrifice I am willing to make.
Farquad: What is that? Ugh, it's hideous!
Shrek: Oh that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.
Shrek: Can't we just settle this over a pint?
Shrek: Ooh. I know what. I could have decapitated an entire village
and put their heads on a plate. Got a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
Donkey: Uh no. Not really, no.
Shrek: For your information, theres a lot more to ogres than people
Shrek: Example? Okay, um . . . ogres are - like onions!
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No!
Donkey: Oh they make you cry?
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun too long, they get all brown
and start sprouting little white hairs?
Shrek: No! Layers! Onions, have, layers. Ogres, have layers. Onions
have layers, ogres have layers. You get it. We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh you both have lay-ers. Ohh. You know, not everybody likes
onion. Cakes! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers.
Shrek: I dont care, what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what else everybody likes? Parfait. Have you ever
met a person, you say "Hey, let's get some parfait" they say "Hey no, I don't like no parfait". Parfaits are delicious.
Shrek: No! You damned irritating minature beast of burden. Ogres are
like onions, end of story, bye-bye. See you later.
Donkey: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn
Shrek: You know, I think I preferred your humming.
Donkey: Do you a tissue or something? Cos I'm making a mess. Just
the word parfair makes me start sloppin'.
Shrek: Believe me donkey: if it was me, you'd be dead.
Shrek: Sure it's big enough. But look at the location!
Donkey: Uh Shrek. Remember when you said that, that ogres have layers?
Shrek: Oh aye.
Donkey: Well I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers.
We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.
Shrek: Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.
Donkey: You know what I mean.
Shrek: Oh you can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
Donkey: No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety
bridge over a boiling lake of lava!
Shrek: C'mon. I'm right here beside you for . . . emotional support.
We'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step
at a time.
Shrek: Really really.
Donkey: Okay. That makes me feel so much better.
Shrek: Just keep moving. And don't look down.
Donkey: Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving, and don't
look down. Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Aaarrrgghhh! Oh I can't do this, just let me off right now, please.
Shrek: But you're already half way.
Donkey: Yeah but I know that half is safe!
Shrek: Okay, fine. I dont have time for this. Oh let's have a dance
then shall we?
Donkey: Don't do that!
Shrek: Do what? Oh I'm sorry. This?
Donkey: Yes, that!
Shrek: Yes? Yes. Do it. Okay!
Donkey: No, Shrek I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek I'm gonna die.
Shrek: That'll do donkey. That'll do.
Donkey: Cool! So where is this fire-breathing pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her.