Money:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn’t want.

 

Bathrooms:
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

 

Arguements:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

Future:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

Success:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one that can find such a man.

 

Eating Out:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 

Marriage:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a man expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

 

Dressing Up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

 

Natural:
Men will wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

Offspring:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

Thought for the day:
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.