Quotes and Taglines

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Eventually, I will have a list of taglines, and quotes from movies, books etc on this page.

Keep your mouth shut and people will think you're stupid; open it and you'll remove all doubt.


Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist.
Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks they can train humans to stand at the edge of a pool and throw them fish.
Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
And of course it goes without saying that ...
The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it sailed over her head.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving's not for you.

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Don't drink and drive - you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
I can't walk on water, but I can stagger on alcohol.
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I saw. I did a little shopping.
I'm not lost, I'm just locationally challenged.
Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I ...
"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." - John Lennon, 1963 (Royal Variety Performance).
ELECELLERATION: Pressing an elevator button a lot to speed it up.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
All generalisations are false.

10 Things I Hate About You
Starring Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles. A modern version of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.
Mr Stratford: Hello Katerina. Make anyone cry today?
Kat: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.
Patrick: Is that a yes?
Kat: No.
Patrick: Well then is that a no?
Kat: No.
Mr Stratford: I got news for you. I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is.
Chastity: I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?
Bianca: I think you can in Europe.
Mr Stratford: Isn't Sarah Lawrence on the other side of the country?
Kat: Thus the basis of its appeal!
Patrick: How you doing?
Kat: Sweating like a pig actually, and yourself?
Kat: They're looking left, we're running right. Bang, we score. We win!
A Bug's Life
An animated movie about a colony of ants who are being terrorised by a group of grasshoppers.
Hopper: First rule of leadership - everything is your fault.
Princess Atta: Must be a circus thing.
Worker 1: Oh no! I'm lost! Where's the line? What do I do?
Worker 2: Help!
Worker 3: We'll be stuck forever!
Mr Soil: Do not panic, do not panic! We are trained professionals. Now stay calm. We are going around the leaf.
Worker 1: Around the leaf! I don't think we can do that.
Mr Soil: Oh nonsense. This is nothing compared to the twig of '93.
A Knight's Tale.
A modern take on jousting. And of course, Heath Ledger in armour.
Roland: God love you William.
William: I know, I know. No-one else will.
Jocelyn: Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick.
Wat: It's called a lance. Hello!
Wat: What do you mean dead?
Roland: The spark of his life is smothered in shite. His spirit is gone but his stench remains.
Chaucer: You're good. You're very good. My lords, my ladies, and every body else here not sitting on a cushion! Today, today, you find yourselves equals. For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne. I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to god, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword, next he amazed me still farther in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would be ravishing of her dreadful Turkish uncle. In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper. And so with out further gilding or lily and with no more ado I give to you, the seeker of serenity. The protector of Italian virginity. The enforcer of our lord god. The one the only Sir Ulllrrrich von Lichenstein. Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
A Disney classic based on the story of Aladdin's magic lamp.
Genie: Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck!
Iago: Wow there's a big suprise. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die, from that suprise.
A Disney-ish movie based on the story of Anastasia, the missing Russian princess.
Bartok: I tell you what, ow!
Anya: Do you really think I'm royalty?
Dimitri: You know I do.
Anya: Then stop bossing me around!
Vladimir: She certainly has a mind of her own.
Dimitri: Yeah. I hate that in a woman.
Anya: Men are such babies.
and later
Dimitri: I know, I know. All men are babies.
Bartok: I'd give her a ha! And then a hi-wah! And I'd kick her sir.
Dimitri: I bought you a dress.
Anya: You bought me a ... tent.
Dimitri: What are you looking for?
Anya: The Russian circus. I think it's still in here.
Another bug movie. This time the threat comes from inside the colony.
Princess Bala: Labour?! What do you know about labour? How would you feel if you were supposed to give birth every ten seconds for the rest of your life?
Ladybug: This tastes like crap.
Beetle: Really? Let me try. Hey it is crap! Not bad.
A group go on an expedition to the lost city of Atlantis.
Vinny: Hey look! I made a bridge. And it only took me, what, ten seconds.
Cookie: I got your four basic food groups: bean, bacon, whiskey, and lard.
Audrey: Two for flinching!
Batman and Robin
My favourite of the movies in the Batman series.
Batgirl: This better be one hell of a secret.
Batgirl: Men. Always have to do everything the hard way.
Beauty and the Beast
Another Disney classic about (duh) a beauty (Belle) who falls in love with a beast in an enchanted castle.
Cogsworth: Oh there's the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep.
Cogsworth: This is yet another example of the late neoclassical Baroque period. And as I always say: if it's not Baroque, don't fix it!
Gaston: Lefou, I'm afraid I've been thinking.
Lefou: A dangerous past-time.
Gaston: I know.
Bend It Like Beckham
An Indian girl rebels against her family to play football (soccer).
Joe: Where do you usually play?
Jess: In the park.
Jess: She called me a Paki. But then I guess you wouldn't know what that feels like.
Joe: Jess I'm Irish.
Dressmaker: Our designs will make even these little mosquito bites look like juicy, juicy mangoes.
Blue Crush
A girl-power surfer chick movie.
Penny: Why does the sun rise in the east?
Lena: Cos it sets in the west.
Drew: You really think you can surf it for real out there?
Anne-Marie: Well Drew, I dated you, I guess I can do anything.
Bridget Jones's Diary
The diary of an overweight, single, 30-something.
Tom: Whose side are we on?
Shazza: Mark's of course. He didn't leave Bridget for a naked American.
Bridget: But he did run off with Daniel's fiance and left him broken-hearted.
Tom: You're right. It's such a tough one to call.
Mark: Nonsense Una, just stir it.
Bring It On
Cheerleaders battle it out for the title.
Carver: She puts the 'ass' in 'massive'.
Darcy: You put the 'lewd' in 'deluded'.
Whitney: She puts the 'itch' in 'bitch'.
Courtney: She puts the 'whore' in 'horrifying'.
Courtney: Lets not put the 'duh' in 'dumb'.
Whitney: Don't play dumb. We're better at it than you.
Torrance: Mothers have killed to get their daughters on squads.
Christine: That mother didn't kill anybody. She hired a hit man.
Darcy: Remember, the judges give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.
Kasey: Did we bring those?
Justin: I have to tell you something!
Torrance: I'm on the phone creep!
Justin: I realise that, and normally I'd be listening on the other line, but this is important.
Torrance: He's your brother, you don't see him the way I do.
Missy: And that's a good thing, cos that would be a crime.
I'm sexy, I'm cute
I'm popular to boot
I'm bitchin, great hair
The boys all love to stare
I'm wanted, I'm hot
I'm everything you're not
I'm pretty, I'm cool
I dominate this school
Who am I? Just guess
Guys wanna touch my chest
I'm rockin, I smile
And many think I'm vile
I'm flying, I jump
You can look but don't you hump - whoo!
I'm major, I roar
I swear I'm not a whore
We cheer and we lead
We act like we're on speed
Hate us cos we're beautiful
But we don't like you either
We're cheerleaders
We are cheerleaders
Roll call - me Big Red
I'm W-w-w-whitney
Do this Darcy
I'm big bad Carver - yeah
Just call me Casey
I'm still Big Red
I sizzle, I scorch
But now I pass the torch
The ballots are in
And one girl has to win
She's perky, she's fun
And now she's number one
Kick-kick it Torrance
I'm strong and I'm loud
I'm gonna make you proud
I'm T-t-torrance
Your captain Torrance
Let's go Toros
We are the Toros, the mighty mighty Toros
We're so terrific
Because we're Toros!
Charlie's Angels
Movie of the old TV series about three female detectives.
Charlie: Good morning angels!
Angels: Good morning Charlie!
Dylan: I'll have three burgers, three fries, and three shakes. What do you guys want?
Eric Knox: You're a woman, you've got female intuition, and you're a detective - and you didn't know this was going to happen?
Chicken Run
The chickens of Tweedy's Farm 'hatch' an escape plan.
Babs: I don't want to be a pie. I don't like gravy!
Mrs Tweedy: In goes chicken, out comes pie.
Mr Tweedy: Ooh. What kind of pie?
Mrs Tweedy: Apple.
Ginger: So laying eggs all your life and then getting stuffed and roasted, that's good enough for you is it?
Babs: It's a living.
Rocky: The name's Rocky. Rocky the Rhode Island Red. Rhodes for short.
Bunty: Rocky Rhodes?
Rocky: Catchy huh?
Fowler: Pushy Americans, always showing up late for every war. Overpaid, oversexed, and over here!
Rat 1: In the very likely case of an emergency, put your head between your legs and -
Rat 2: Kiss your bum goodbye!
The original ditzy teen movie. Parallels the plot of Jane Austen's Emma.
Cher: As if!
Dion: Hello? That was a stop sign.
Cher: I totally paused!
Mel: Do you drink?
Christian: No, thanks, I'm good.
Cher: Would you say I'm selfish?
Dion: No. Not to your face.
Cher: Tai, how old are you?
Tai: I'll be 16 in May.
Cher: My birthday is in April, and as someone older, can I please give you some advice?
Dion: Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me woman.
Murray: Excuse me 'Miss Dion'.
Dion: Thank you.
Murray: Yeah but you know, street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily misogynistic undertones.
Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.
Dion: Did you write that?
Cher: Duh, it's like a totally famous quote.
Dion: From where?
Cher: Cliffs Notes.
Josh: You wanna practice parking?
Cher: What's the point. Everywhere you go has valet.
Con Air
A prison transport plane gets hijacked.
Cameron: There are two people I trust. One is me. The other is not you.
Cool Runnings
A 'cool' movie about the Jamaican bobsled team at the Winter Olympics.
Irv: Our father, who art in Calgary, hallowed be thy bobsled. Thy kingdom come, gold medals won, on earth as it is in turn seven.
Brenner: Look in the mirror and tell me what you see.
Junior: I see Junior.
Brenner: You see Junior? Well, let me tell you what I see. I see pride. I see power. I see a bad-ass mother who don't take no crap off of nobody!
Coyote Ugly
A small-town songwriter goes to the big city and ends up dancing on a bar.
Rachel: Hey Lil, do we serve water with our whiskey?
Lil: Only water I serve has got barley and hops in it. Hey everybody! Do we serve water?
Crowd: Hell no, H2O!
Kevin: Are you lost?
Violet: I'm not lost. Somebody just moved my street.
Kevin: Just for the record, I was only staring at your arse for the first fifteen minutes.
Lil: Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black, and Jose. All my favourite men.
Kevin: It's three o'clock in the morning. I want what every guy wants. Breakfast!
The latest kids' take about what happened to the dinosaurs.
Zini: 'Hey sweetie, if you'll be my bride, I'll groom ya.' That is good. Oh that's good. 'Girls, I'm known as the professor of love and school's in session.' Yeah I still got it.
Aladar: I hope it's not contagious.
Zini: I'm a raging epidemic of romance.
Neera: You really like kids, don't you?
Aladar: Well, the thin ones are a little chewy.
Drive Me Crazy
Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina) stars in the traditional boy-meets-girl-next-door kinda film.
Chase: I didn't expect you to fall in love.
Dulcie: I didn't expect you to fall into the Gap!
Nicole: Prince Charming is a dick, bring on the frogs.
Chase: Where'd Ray go? I was hoping I could ask to cut in.
Nicole: Well Ray left, but its ok with me. I bet you could catch him if you hurry.
Chase: No actually, I wanted to dance with you.
Movie of Jane Austen's book Emma, stars Gwenyth Paltrow.
Mr Knightley: You didn't ask me to contribute a riddle.
Emma: Your whole personality is a riddle, Mr Knightley. I thought you over-qualified.
Miss Bates: It left us speechless, quite speechlessI tell you, and we have not stopped talking of it since.
Mr Knightley: Better to be without sense than to misapply it as you do.
Emma: How fascinating that any discordancy between us must always arise from my being wrong.
Mr Knightley: Not fascinating, but true.
Erin Brockovich
Something different to her typical romantic comedies, Julia Roberts takes on a legal role as Erin.
Erin: So before you come back here with another lame-ass offer, I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth Mr Walker. Or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus Ms Sanchez. Then you take out your calculater and you multiply that number by a hundred. Anything less than that is a waste of our time.
*Ms Sanchez picks up a glass of water.
Erin: By the way, we had that water brought in specially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.
Erin: Did they teach you how to apologise at lawyer school? Cos you suck at it.
Ed: Do they teach beauty queens how to apologise? Because you suck at it.
An alien wants to go home.
ET: ET phone home.
Ever After
Drew Barrymore starts in the Cinderella story.
Danielle: It's tradition.
Dnaielle: Forgive me your highness. I didn't see you.
Henry: Your aim would suggest otherwise.
daVinci: A life without love is no life at all.
Henry: And love without trust. What of that?
Henry: And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or she does, and you're distracted to notice?
daVinci: You learn to pay attention.
Baroness: Darling, nothing is final til you're dead, and even then I'm sure god negotiates.
Gustav: You look like a girl!
Danielle: That's what I am half-wit!
Gustav: Yeah, but today you look it!
daVinci: I shall go in history as the man who opened a door!
Good Will Hunting
I remember nothing about this movie but there were some good lines in it.
Skylar: What if I said I wouldn't have sex with you again until I got to meet your friends, what would you say?
Will: It's 4:30, they're probably still awake.
Billy: You're legally allowed to drink now, so we figured the best thing for you was a car.
Skylar: You were hoping for a goodnight kiss.
Will: No I'll tell you. I was hoping for a goodnight lay, but I'll settle for a goodnight kiss.
Will: You wasted $150 000 an on education you coulda got for a buck fifty in late charges at the public library.
Morgan: Man, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all drunk. What is she going to think about us?
Will: Yeah Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.
Home Alone
A series of movie about a kid left home alone. Originally starring Macaulay Culkin.
Mom: Say goodnight Kevin.
Kevin: Goodnight Kevin.
Shop assistant: Where's your mom?
Kevin: She's at work.
Shop assistant: Where's your dad.
Kevin: He's at work.
Shop assistant: Where're your brothers and sisters?
Kevin: I'm an only child.
Shop assistant: Where do you live?
Kevin: I can't tell you that.
Shop assistant: Why not?
Kevin: Cos you're a stranger.
Mom: What kind of idiots do you have working here?
Clerk: The finest in New York.
Ice Age
An animated movie about, yep you guessed it, the ice age.
Sid: For a second there, I actually thought you were going to eat me!
Diego: I don't eat junk food.
Manny: I'm still trying to get rid of the last thing I saved!
Manny: Let's get something straight ok? There's no 'we'. There never was a 'we'. In fact, without a 'me', there wouldn't even be a 'you'!
Sid: You know, this whole ice age thing is getting old. You know what I could go for? A global warming.
Diego: Keep dreaming.
Manny: The sooner we get to Glacier Pass, the sooner I get rid of Mr Stinky Drool-face. And the baby too.
A seriously disturbed take on high-school.
Vylette: How can she be so evil? She's only in high school!
Courtney: We just killed our best friend! Do you realise what this means?
Marcie: That you're a shoo-in for prom queen?
Courtney: I don't believe we've met, what with the cruel politics of high school and all.
Courtney: I mean, food's cool and all. It tastes good, and you need it to live, but the mere act of eating involves thoughts of digestion, flatulation, defacation, and even, shall we say, complection defection.
Keeping the Faith
Ok, so there's a priest, a rabbi, and a single girl, and they all walk into a bar... no seriously.
Anna: I work harder than god. If he had hired me, he would have made the world by Thursday.
Jake: Whoa! You're telling me I was supposed to be sensitive to the fact that a Catholic priest might have a crush on my secret girlfriend?
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Angelina Jolie in a kinda Indiana Jones, quest thing.
Lara: It's a clock. It's ticking.
Bryce: Oh, must be one of them ticking clocks.
Lara: But you might try to kill me.
Powell: I won't kill you.
Lara: I said you'd try.
Bryce: 'My ignorance amuses me'?
Lara: Yes, well, I've always found you ignorance very amusing.
Legally Blonde
The whole basis for me studying law.
Warner: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What, like it's hard?
Elle: Excuse me, I just hallucinated.
Elle: The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would've known!
Clerk: There's nothing I love more than a dumb blonde with daddy's plastic.
Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
Elle: I object!
Little Rascals
A group of boys form a 'we hate girls' club.
Buckwheat: Dear Darla. I hate your stinkin guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes. Love, Alfalfa.
Uh-huh: Actually, I've always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammer. I simply chose not to employ them.
Little Women
From Louisa May Alcott's books about the March family.
Marmee: I am going to write him a letter.
Jo: A letter. That'll show him.
Laurie: I have loved you since the moment I clamped eyes on you. What could be more reasonable than to marry you?
Jo: We'd kill each other!
Laurie: Nonsense!
Jo: Neither of us can keep our tempers...
Laurie: I can, unless provoked.
Jo: We're both stupidly stubborn, especially you. We'd only quarrel!
Laurie: I wouldn't!
Jo: You can't even propose without quarreling.
In an old house in Paris that was covered in vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines...
Madeleine: Faster faster!
Spain: Hey you wanna drive or what!
Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins is employed as a nanny in a British home in 1910.
Mr Banks: Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts.
Mr Banks: Would you be good enough to explain all this?!
Mary Poppins: First of all I would like to make one thing quite clear.
Mr Banks: Yes?
Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Based on the books by Patrick O'Brien. Starring Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany.
Jack: Name a shrub after me. Something prickly and hard to eradicate.
Jack: Well Stephen. The bird's flightless?
Stephen: Yes.
Jack: It's not going anywhere.
Jack: Do you not know that in the servive, one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?
Jack: To wives and sweethearts.
Officers: To wives and sweethearts.
Jack: May they never meet.
Miss Congeniality
Sandra Bullock goes undercover in the Miss United States pageant.
Gracie: Excuse me, sir maam, coming through. FBI sir, I'd advise you to stay out of this.
I would like...
*groans from the crowd
Gracie: I would like eight double lattes, one with no foam etc.
Miss Morningside: Yeah yeah.
Gracie: Yes.
Hawaii: You talkin to me?
New York: Yeah I'm talkin to you, I'm looking at you aren't I?
New York: Yeah but we do things differently here on the mainland five-oh.
Hawaii: What, no insults today?
New York: You're a darn ho.
Gracie: Gracie Lou Freebush?
Eric: Yeah, I remembered you liked that name.
Gracie: Yeah well, my IQ just dropped ten points.
Vic: He's with me.
Eric: I'm not 'with him' with him. It's not like that.
Vic: Come on muffin.
Miss Morningside: This is Texas, everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun.
Vic: Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?
Gracie: Cos it's too hard to fit Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State on a license plate?
Gracie: It's light beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway.
Vic: What, no armoured car?
Gracie: That would be in my other dress.
Miss Morningside: I would rather cancel the show than have one of my girls blown up.
Stan: Especially without their knowledge.
Eric: Is this you not arguing? Cos you suck at it.
Stan: What do you think is the one thing our society needs?
Gracie: That would be harsher punishments for parole violaters Stan. And ... world peace!
Gracie: How bizarro is that?!
Gracie: I am in a dress. I have gel in my hair. I haven't slept all night. I'm starved, and I'm armed. Don't mess with me.
Mission: Impossible
Tom Cruise as (I think) a CIA agent (or something like that. You know, a hero kinda guy).
Ethan: We just rolled up a snowball and threw it into hell. Now we'll see if it has a chance.
Ethan: She's got no training for this.
Swanbeck: To sleep with a man and lie to him? She's a woman. She's got all the training she needs.
Monters Inc.
From Dreamworks, a cool kids' movie about what is really inside your wardrobe.
Mike: Can I borrow your odourant?
Sully: Yeah, I got uh, Smelly Garbage or Old Dumpster.
Mike: You got uh, Low Tide?
Sully: No.
Mike: How about Wet Dog?
Sully: Yep. Stink it up.
Fungus: I'm sorry Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternise with victims of his evil plot.
Boo: Mike Wazowksi!
Mike: We're rehearsing a scene for the upcoming company play called, uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical. 'Put that thing back where it came from or so help me...
Sully: Boom, boom, boom. (keeping time)
Mike: ...or so help me, and cut!
Moulin Rouge
A musical starring Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, set in the Moulin Rouge nightclub in France at the turn of the century.
Christian: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.
Disney movie set in China, about a girl who takes her father's place and goes off to war. Eddie Murphy does a great job as the dragon Mushu. (Somehow I like him better when I can't see him.)
Matchmaker: Fa Mulan.
Mulan: Present!
Matchmaker: Speaking without permission.
Mulan: Oops.
Mushu: Now that's what I call Mongolian barbeque.
Mushu: What?! What do mean you aren't lucky? You lied to me? And what are you, a sheep?
Yao: I'm gonna hit you so hard it will make your ancestors dizzy.
Captain: We've got a long way to go.
Mushu: Dragon, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing.
Not Another Teen Movie
A take-off of all the other teens movies.
Malik: Sure why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like 'Damn', 'Shit', and 'That is whack'.
Catherine: I want you.
Jake: But you're my sister.
Catherine: Only by blood.
Coach: Can he still play?
Trainer: He's in a coma.
Coach: Answer the question!
Priscilla: I need t to the fourth power y.
Jake: What?
Priscilla: Time to talk to you.
Priscilla: You put the 'suck' in 'liposuction'. You put the 'ju' in 'jujitsu'. You put the 'ism' in 'this is all just a defense mechanism'.
Ocean's Eleven
Remake of the old Ocean's 11 movie, about a bunch of guys who rob a casino (or three).
Danny: They say I paid my debt to society.
Tess: Funny, I never got a check.
Ruben: You guys are pros, the best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the f**king desert!
Rusty: You look down and they know you're lying, up and they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, always look at your mark but don't stare., be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for god's sake, whatever you do, don't under any circumstances -
Livingston: Rus?
Rusty: Yeah?
Livingston: Come look at this?
Rusty: Sure.
Turk Malloy: I'm gonna get of the car and drop you like third period French.
Danny: Ten ought to do it, don't you think? Do you think we need one more? You think we need one more. Alright we'll get one more.
Rusty: The Bellagio and the Mirage. Those are Tony Benedict's places.
Danny: Yes they are. Think he'll mind?
Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: I only have one?
Rusty: Been practising that speech haven't you?
Danny: Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt like I rushed it.
Rusty: No it was good. I liked it.
Topher Grace: Hey guys! Check this: All reds!
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
One of the best movies recently released. Based on the Disney ride Pirates of the Caribbean. Excellent cast including Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightley.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, we sack
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We're devils, we're black sheep, we're really bad eggs
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
Norrington: I intend to see to it that any man who sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate brand gets what he deserves: A short drop and a sudden stop.
Elizabeth: I can't breathe!
Norrington: Yes I'm feeling a bit nervous myself.
*Elizabeth falls.*
Norrington: Elizabeth?
Norrington: You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.
Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Will: I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.
Will: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate.
Jack Sparrow: No survivors? Then where do the stories come from I wonder?
Elizabeth: I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilites against Port Royal.
Barbossa: There were a lot o' long words there, miss. We're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?
Elizabeth: I want you to leave and never come back.
Barbossa: I am disinclined to acquiece to your request. Means no.
Will: We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
Jack Sparrow: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.
Jack Sparrow: I'm not sure I deserved that.
Jack Sparrow: I may have deserved that.
Will: I suppose you didn't deserve that one either.
Jack Sparrow: No, that I deserved.
Jack Sparrow: Do us a favour. I know it's difficult for you, but please, stay here and try not to do anything stupid.
Pirate: You're supposed to be dead.
Jack Sparrow: Am I not?
Jack Sparrow: Of the two of us, I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, therefore, my word is the one we'll be trusting.
Elizabeth: Mr Sparrow. I'm not entirely sure I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk.
Jack Sparrow: You burned all the food, the shade, the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels! Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. Do you really think that there s even the slighest chance that they won't see it?!
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Jack Sparrow: A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all round!
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington just like she promised, and you get to die for her like she promised.
Jack Sparrow: Well. I'm actually feeling rather good about this. I think we've all arrived at a very special place ay? Spiritually. Ecumenically. Gramatically. I want you to know that I was rooting for you mate. Know that. Elizabeth, it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry. Will. Nice hat. Friends. This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you - .
Gillete: Commodore, what about Sparrow?
Norrington: Oh I think we can afford to give him one day's head start.
The Pirate's Code:
"Parley. I invoke the right of parley. According to the Code of the Brethren set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholemew, you have to take me to your Captain. If an adversary demands parley, you can do them no harm until the parley is complete."
"You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight I'd kill you." "That's not much incentive for me to fight fair then, is it?"
"Take what you can." "Give nothing back!"
"People are easier to search when they're dead."
"The man that falls behind gets left behind."
"But what a ship really is, is freedom."
But above all, "The code is more actual guidelines really."
Rugrats in Paris
Movie based on the TV show Rugrats. I haven't actually seen it, I only know this line from the preview.
Tommy: Wee, wee.
Angelica: He's speaking French already!
Runaway Bride
I don't remember much about this movie, it can't have been that good.
Ike Graham: Don't knock drunks in bars. It means they're not out driving.
Rush Hour
Comedy starring Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.
Carter: Oh hell no! You didn't just touch my god damn radio!
Lee: The Beach Boys is great American music.
Carter: Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!
Save the Last Dance
Julia Stiles in a ballet movie with a twist of hip-hop.
Derek: Steps ain't no square dance.
Sara: That's ok, I dance in circles, probably around you.
Sara: Asshole.
Chenille: Who? Because in this crowd, you're going to have to be a bit more specific.
Scooby Doo
A real live version of the old cartoon about Mystery Inc and of course, Scooby Doo.
Velma: Oh please! You get kidnapped so much you should come with your own ransom note!
Boy meets girl, boy and girl leave it up to fate, boy loses girl, fate brings them together again.
Dean: I'm telling you right now, British women do not age well. Eight years ago she was a luscious treat, you know, she probably looked like, you know, Baby Spice, now she could look like ...
Jonathon: Old Spice.
One of the best 'kids' movies' of all time.
Shrek: 'Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in castle, guarded by a terrible, fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love's first kiss.' Yeah. Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of *flush*.
Person: It'll grind your bones for its bread.
Shrek: Well actually, that would a giant. Ogres, now they're much worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. Shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually it's quite good on toast.
Shrek: This is the part where you run away. And stay out!
Donkey: You definitely need some tictacs or something, cos your breath stinks!
Donkey: Wow. Only a true friend would be that truely honest.
Donkey: Whoo. Look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That would be my home.
Donkey: Oh and it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know, you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've managed to do on such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give them a hint but they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know...
*Big awkward silence.*
Donkey: Can I stay with you?
Shrek: What?!
Donkey: Can I stay with you, please?
Shrek: Of course.
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning: I'm making waffles!
Donkey: Oh that's what I like to hear. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends off on another whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! 'On the road again.' Sing it with me Shrek. 'I can't wait to get on the road again.'
Shrek: What did I say about singing?
Donkey: Well can I whistle?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Well can I hum it?
Shrek: Alright.
Mirror: So . . . sit back and relax my Lord, because its time for you to meet todays eligible bachelorettes. And heeeeeere they are: Bachelorette Number One is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing, anytime! Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome . . . Cinderella!
Bachelorette Number Two is a cape-wearin' girl from the land of Fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find a what a live-wire she is! C'mon. Give it up for . . . Snow White!
And last, but certainly not least, Bachelorette Number Three is a fiery red-head from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But dont let that cool ya off. She a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess . . . Fiona.
So. Will it be Bachelorette Number One, Bachelorette Number Two, or Bachelorette Number Three?
Thelonius: Pick Number Three my Lord!
Shrek: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?
Shrek: It's quiet. Too quiet.
Donkey: Hey, look at this!
Choir: Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town.
Can we have some rules, let us lay them down.
Don't make waves, stay in line
And well get along fine
Duloc is a perfect place.
Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your - face
Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect place!
Donkey: Wooooow. Lets do that again!
Shrek: No! No! No no no. No.
Shrek: Alright, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
Farquad: And so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
Farquad: What is that? Ugh, it's hideous!
Shrek: Oh that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.
Shrek: Can't we just settle this over a pint?
Shrek: Ooh. I know what. I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a plate. Got a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
Donkey: Uh no. Not really, no.
Shrek: For your information, theres a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example? Okay, um . . . ogres are - like onions!
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No!
Donkey: Oh they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun too long, they get all brown and start sprouting little white hairs?
Shrek: No! Layers! Onions, have, layers. Ogres, have layers. Onions have layers, ogres have layers. You get it. We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh you both have lay-ers. Ohh. You know, not everybody likes onion. Cakes! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers.
Shrek: I dont care, what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what else everybody likes? Parfait. Have you ever met a person, you say "Hey, let's get some parfait" they say "Hey no, I don't like no parfait". Parfaits are delicious.
Shrek: No! You damned irritating minature beast of burden. Ogres are like onions, end of story, bye-bye. See you later.
Donkey: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
Shrek: You know, I think I preferred your humming.
Donkey: Do you a tissue or something? Cos I'm making a mess. Just the word parfair makes me start sloppin'.
Shrek: Believe me donkey: if it was me, you'd be dead.
Shrek: Sure it's big enough. But look at the location!
Donkey: Uh Shrek. Remember when you said that, that ogres have layers?
Shrek: Oh aye.
Donkey: Well I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.
Shrek: Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.
Donkey: You know what I mean.
Shrek: Oh you can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
Donkey: No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!
Shrek: C'mon. I'm right here beside you for . . . emotional support. We'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time.
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: Really really.
Donkey: Okay. That makes me feel so much better.
Shrek: Just keep moving. And don't look down.
Donkey: Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving, and don't look down. Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Aaarrrgghhh! Oh I can't do this, just let me off right now, please.
Shrek: But you're already half way.
Donkey: Yeah but I know that half is safe!
Shrek: Okay, fine. I dont have time for this. Oh let's have a dance then shall we?
Donkey: Don't do that!
Shrek: Do what? Oh I'm sorry. This?
Donkey: Yes, that!
Shrek: Yes? Yes. Do it. Okay!
Donkey: No, Shrek I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek I'm gonna die. Oh.
Shrek: That'll do donkey. That'll do.
Donkey: Cool! So where is this fire-breathing pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her.
Space Jam
Half animated, half real life basketball movie starring Michael Jordan as a retired basketball player who comes out of retirement, oh wait...
Daffy: I know a great name for our team: The Ducks!
Bugs: Oh please. What kind of Mickey Mouse outfit would name their team the Ducks?
Mostly set on a bus that will blow up if if slows down too much.
SWAT Cop: Anything else that'll keep this elevator from falling?
Jack: Yeah. The basement.
Jack: Shoot the hostage.
Payne: There will come a time, boy, when you'll wish you never met me.
Jack: Mister, I'm already there.
Jack: F*** me!
Stephens: 'Oh darn.'
Spiceworld: The Movie
Really bad movie starring the Spice Girls, before they split up obviously.
Posh: It's always the same. I never know what to wear.
Sporty: It must be so hard for you, Victoria. I mean, having to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or . . . the little Gucci dress!
Posh: Exactly.
Baby: I know, why don't you wear the little Gucci dress?
Posh: Good idea. Thanks, Em.
Ginger: Boys, boys! Calm down! Haven't you ever heard of the word 'compromisation'?
Ginger: Check!
Scary: What d'you mean "check"?!
Ginger: I mean, check; my bishop's got your king.
Scary: Where?
Ginger: There! You've either got to move it in front, or move it out of the way.
Scary: Well I'll move that fairground horse to there. Sort that out!
Ginger: You can't do that!
Scary: Says who?
Ginger: Says Mr. Chess! It's been in the rules for thousands of years!
Scary: Well I'm gonna break the rules and set this little fairground horse free amongst all these little square fields, like that. There!
Ginger: I'm gonna slap you in a minute!
Movie of the old Spiderman comics, starring Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst (who does not look good with red hair by the way).
Peter Parker: Can I do anything for you?
Aunt May: You do too much - college, a job, all this time with me... You're not Superman, you know!
Peter Parker: Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale . . . if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world . . . somebody lied.

Peter Parker: I missed the part where that's my problem.

Spy Kids
Trilogy (Spy Kids, Island of Lost Dreams, and Spy Kids 3D: Game Over) about Carmen and Juni Cortez, junior secret agents.


Carmen: My parents can't be spies - they're not cool enough.

Juni: Thats cool.


Carmen: Little brothers!


Gertie: Dont look at me brother - you take on a girl, youre gonna lose.


Juni: My watch doesnt tell the time!


Carmen: You are so full of shit-aki mushrooms.


Juni: One necklace to rule them all.


Carnmen: Watch out for Juni, take care of Juni, show Juni right from wrong. I shouldnt' be responsible for anybody, but me!


Carmen: Wow. We are definitely, going to be late for school.


Carmen: Just be cool.


Carmen: That's the safehouse?

Juni: Looks more like an outhouse.


Juni: Ew, gross.

Carmen: What do you see?

Juni: You.


Carmen: "A good spy has no fear." Sorry Juni, guess you can't be a spy.


Carmen: Never send an adult to do a kid's job.


Juni: You better stop calling me names.

Carmen: Or what?

Juni: Or I'll start calling you names.

Carmen: Go ahead, you got nothing on me warthog.



Star Wars

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, Ep2: Attack of the Clones, Ep4: A New Hope, Ep5: The Empire Strikes Back, Ep6: Return of the Jedi.


Yoda:Mmmmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing.


Leia: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!


Beed: I don't care what universe you're from, that's got to hurt.


Amidala: You're a slave?
Anakin: I'm a person and my name is Anakin


Qui-Gon: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.


Qui-Gon: Credits will do fine.
Watto: No, they won't-a. What? You think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that? I'm a Toydarian, mind tricks don't work on me. Only money. No money, no parts, no deal!


Yoda: Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you


C-3PO: I beg your pardon. What do you mean, "naked"?


Amidala: How did you end up here with us?
Jar Jar: I don't know. Mesa day startin pretty okee-day with a brisky morning munchy, then BOOM! Gettin very scared and grabbin that Jedi and POW! Mesa here! Mesa gettin' very very scared!


Obi-Wan: Just relax, concentrate.
Anakin: What about Padme?
Obi-Wan: She seems to be on top of things.


*R2-D2 is pulling C-3PO's head back towards his body*
C-3PO: This is such a drag.

*his head is placed next to his body*
C-3PO: I'm quite beside myself.


Obi-Wan: You know I don't like it when you do that.
Anakin: Sorry, master. I forgot that you don't like flying.
Obi-Wan: I don't mind flying, but what you're doing is suicide!


Obi-Wan: What took you so long?
Anakin: Well, you know, Master, I couldn't find a speeder that I really liked.
Obi-Wan: There he is.
Anakin:With an open cockpit and the right speed capabilities.
Obi-Wan: If you spent as much time practicing your saber techniques as you did your wit, you'd rival Master Yoda as a swordsman.
Anakin: I thought I already did.
Obi-Wan: Only in your mind, my very young apprentice.


Leia: You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them.

Luke:  I used to live here, you know.
Han Solo: You're going to die here, too. Convenient.


Han Solo: Together again.
Luke: Wouldn't miss it.
Han Solo: How we doin'?
Luke: Same as always.
Han Solo: That bad, huh?


Han Solo: I don't know . . . fly casual.


Elan Sleazebaggano: Do you want to but some death sticks?

Obi-Wan: You don't want to sell me death sticks.

Elan Sleazebaggano: I don't want to sell you death sticks.

Obi-Wan: You want to go home and rethink your life.

Elan Sleazebaggano: I want to go home and rethink my life.



The Emperor's New Groove

The selfish Emperor Kuzco is turned into a llama. Disney must be getting a little desperate for plots.


Pacha: h oh.

Kuzco: Let me guess. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.

Pacha: Yep.

Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?

Pacha: Most likely.

Kuzco: Bring it on.


Kuzco: *considering seven potential brides who all look remarkably alike*

Now what do we have here? Hate the hair; not likely; yikes; yikes; yikes; and, let me guess, you have a great personality.


Yzma: Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground.

Kronk: Don't you mean "or"?

Yzma: Tell us where the talking llama is or we'll burn your house to the ground.

Chaca: Well, which one is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.


Kuzco: Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.


Kuzco: No touchy.


Son: Nuh-uh

Daughter: Yeah-huh

Son: Nuh-uh

Daughter: Yeah-huh



The Fast and the Furious

A street racing movie starring Vin Diesel and Paul Walker and Michelle Rodrigeuz.


Dominic: I said a 10 second car, not a 10 minute car.


Dominic: Ask any racer, any real racer. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile; winning's winning.

Dominic: I live my life a quarter mile at a time, nothing else matters, for those ten seconds or less, I'm free.


Dom: You almost had me? You never had me - you never had your car... Granny shiftin' not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of NOS didn't blow the welds on the intake! Now me and the mad scientist gotta rip apart the block, and replace the piston rings you fried.


Dom: Take it upstairs Einstein. You can't detail a car with the cover on.


Dom: Vince there was a time when I didn't know you.

Vince: That was in the third grade!


Brian: I just need more time.

Cop: If you want Time, but the magazine.

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